A toaster, a toaster, my kingdom for a toaster!

I need a new toaster because the one I have a) doesn’t work right and won’t turn itself off at the correct time which results in burnt toast and b) will only take the smallest slice of bread or an English muffin.  I bake my own bread, which I very much enjoy toasted, unfortunately the slices are much larger than the slots in the toaster which means I get a half-toasted slice of bread.

Now I know you are all out there whispering to yourselves “why doesn’t she just go to Wal Mart and get one like that”.  Well of course that is what you would say, because any sensible person would,  but there are two problems with your plan of action for me.  One, I hardly ever shop at Wal Mart.  I hate the place, both for its business practices and the fact that it is such a pain of a place to shop in.  It is always a hike from the parking lot to the store and then once you are in the store it is a three mile hike around the store to find the things that you need.   I mean why is the pet food near the garden center which is allllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll the way over the other side of the store from the groceries?   Perhaps one day I don’t need pet food (unlikely) but I do need some groceries and body wash.  I get my food and then I have to go allllllllllllllllllllllllllllll the way to the pharmacy, past several acres of clothing and housewares and electronics to get to the body wash.

I am sure that some savvy marketing person has convinced Wal Mart that doing things that way means that people will be tempted by the acres of clothing and other stuff and oh I don’t know, impulse buy a three-piece suit or something, but when I go grocery shopping I tend to stick to what I need and do not come out of the store  with an all singing all dancing rotisserie come waffle maker that wakes you up and makes you tea at the cost of $300.00.

The second problem with your very sensible solution to my first world problem is that I never, unless I can absolutely help it, buy anything new.  It is not that I am a skinflint, it is just that I like to be part of the recycling of stuff and I am thrifty (okay I am a skinflint).    I know that once I have visited all of my favorite thrift stores a couple of times there will be the toaster of my dreams on a shelf marked $2.00 or less.  It is inevitable, it is just a matter of patience on my part and I will find it eventually.  I know this because it is also inevitable that if I finally break down and do purchase something new that the very next day I will find the very thing that I just bought new in one of the thrift stores at 10% of the price I just spent for the new one.  It will happen.  It always does.

Case in point.  My husband wanted a pants press.  I looked in all my usual haunts thinking that this being a military town there were bound to be pants presses galore.   However, his patience is not as good as mind and after some nagging I broke down and bought one from Bed, Bath and Beyond (or I should say ordered as it had to be shipped).  It cost me with tax and shipping in the region of $150.00.  It was delivered to my house on Thursday.  On Saturday I went to one of my favorite thrift stores and what did I see?  Sure enough a hardly used, perfectly working pants press for $15.00.    I vowed that day that I would not let it happen to me again and so my quest for the perfect toaster continues.

It is the thrill of the hunt that keeps me going you see.  I mean what fun is it going into a store and seeing shelves and shelves of shiny toasters?  It is much more fun to scour the housewares section of the thrift stores   and then, in that moment of glory, suddenly setting your eyes on your prize and hastily snapping it up before some other shopper finds your precious and takes it from you, “Its mine!”  I will yell, “the perfect toaster, mine all mine!”  Well I will yell that In my head of course because saying it out loud would probably get me escorted from the store, but the feeling of victory will stay with me all day.   So, I will put up with half toasted slices of home made bread until that glorious day when I find my perfect toaster.

Of course some of you are also whispering to yourselves “why doesn’t she just cut the slices of bread in half?”  I have often wondered that myself and to be honest with you I have no clue.

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