Wild Onion Whining

I know a lot of gardeners think them to be an invasive weed and spend an inordinate amount of time trying to eradicate them, but I like them.  I think they are cool, they can be eaten, and what is not to love about free food?  The thing that I most like about them is that they can be given a hair cut, and the tops once dried can be used just as chives are, and as we all know a small jar of dried chives can be expensive.

As I drive home I see hundreds and hundreds of wild onion plants, in lawns, growing along the roadside on the edges of the drainage ditches, in the grass verges of fast-food restaurant parking lots, everywhere.  Of course that would be everywhere except in my yard.  I don’t understand it, why does the wild onion fairy that works for Mother Nature hate me so?  What did I do to her?   Surely the wild onion fairy knows that I would never take Round Up to them, surely the wild onion fairy knows that at the most the only harm that would come to them would be the aforesaid haircut, and the bulbs would be free to sprout more hair.  I should obviously be considered to be a prime wild onion owner, what crime did I commit to be blacklisted in this manner?  For references I would submit that the Dandelion fairy seems to think that I am a most acceptable owner, and deemed me fit to be the recipient of numerous Dandelion plants, why then does the wild onion fairy deem me unfit.  I am miffed.

I have considered, on more than one occasion, pulling into the driveway of a home that has an expansive lawn liberally pockmarked with wild onions and, trowel in hand, knocking on the door and asking if I could relieve them of their weeds.   I am not sure this would go down well, perhaps the homeowner also likes wild onions and are harvesting their own version of free chives, I am also aware that many people around here have guns.

As it is I think this Spring, when the wild onions are very easy to distinguish from the still dormant grass, I will make a raid under cover of darkness and liberate some wild onions from their current prisons in pristine lawns and drainage ditches and relocate them to my yard.  It is only fair. 




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